"Top Ten Myths of Divorce"

Everyone has their different outlooks on divorce. Most people sterotype it as the husband cheating on his wife or visa versa. Or as a way out, a way to easily move on and find another significant other to spend their life with. Others can see it as a chance to move on and find someone else that makes him/her happier. Sometimes couples can end on good terms and move on with their lives knowing that maybe they can still be good friends, especially for their kids sake. I wish that was the case for my parents divorce, but I am old and mature enough to be okay with the decision they have made. I just want them both to be happy.

David Popenoe discusses the top ten myths about divorce and how people have misinterpreted it. "Number one, people because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages. Number two, living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the chances of eventually divorcing. Number three, divorce may cause problems for many of the children who are affected by it, but by and large these problems are not long lasting and the children recover relatively quickly. Number four, having a child together will help a couple to improve their marital satisfaction and prevent a divorce.

Number five, following divorce, the woman’s standard of living plummets by seventy three percent while that of the man’s improves by forty two percent. Number six, when parents don’t get along, children are better off if their parents divorce than if they stay together. Number seven, because they are more cautious in entering marital relationships and also have a strong determination to avoid the possibility of divorce, children who grow up in a home broken by divorce tend to have as much success in their own marriages as those from intact homes. Number eight, following divorce, the children involved are better off in stepfamilies than in single-parent families. Number nine, being very unhappy at certain points in a marriage is a good sign that the marriage will eventually end in divorce. Finally number ten, it is usually men who initiate divorce proceedings."

Silverstein has found that, "women who have spent most of their lives defining themselves by their importance to their husbands, children or parents, are the ones who experience "suddenly being single" as a time of uncertainty and discontinuity." In a relationship, you have to be able to have that freedom, that trust level in each other. It's not a bad thing to live your life for others, but make sure that you leave time for yourself. I've learned that your children are the most imporant things in your life. That's the choice my mom made, let's just hope somewhere along the line my dad realizes the choices he's made.

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